odd man out.

(Part 2 of 3.  See part 1 and part 3.)

I see three strong distinctions between hamartaphobia, the Christian aversion to sin, and homophobia, an aversion to LGBT people.  My desire is that Christians who do not affirm same-sex relationships would reflect on their own behavior to discern whether they are exemplifying Christ’s love through their actions in this area.

First, hamartaphobia is consistent while homophobia puts undue weight on particular issues.  I’ve harped on about the ways many Christians prioritize homosexuality above other kinds of sin, and I’ll keep harping on it because I fear it demonstrates how profoundly our culture subtly shapes us and our approach to faith.

There are three main passages in the New Testament that seem interested in some kind of same-sex issues, and each of these passages discusses homosexuality in the same breath as other issues that are much more readily accepted in our culture.  So, I Corinthians 6 discusses “the greedy,” “drunkards,” and “slanderers.”  I Timothy 1 mentions “liars.”  (Each of these passages, of course, also lists the more general “sexual immorality.”)  And Romans 1, the most substantial passage discussing same-sex issues, provides a whole litany of vices: “greed,” “envy,” “strife,” “deceit,” “malice”; it describes “gossips” and those who are “arrogant and boastful”; and it even mentions those who “disobey their parents.”

I believe inconsistency is the main reason many condemnations of same-sex relationships ring false and appear bigoted to those outside of the church.  When Christians claim same-sex relationships are a sin like any other sin but then react to them differently from how they react to every other sin (see anecdote from part 1), the discord is jarring.  The churchgoer who would forbid a gay couple from attending his/her congregation while half-heartedly admitting, “I should really work on my gossip/greed/envy problem eventually” demonstrates glaring incongruity.

I suspect the hamartaphobe would be as concerned with his/her own sin as with the sins of others, and each of the issues listed above would be equally bothersome because each of them involves attitudes and behaviors that do not reflect God’s nature.  Greed, for example, would be as troublesome as sexual immorality (and, consequently, all forms of sexual immorality would be equally troublesome).

The great news here is that God freely bestows grace on all who sin.  One of the most humbling verses in the Bible—”For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”—is actually nestled within one of the most uplifting passages of the Bible—”There is no difference between Jew and Gentile,” and, “All are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:22-4).  Genuine hamartaphobia tends to foster humility, since one can no longer elevate oneself by exaggerating the immorality of others.  The result is a community in which everyone has an equal claim because no one really has any claim, and forgiveness flows as freely as admonition.

Second, hamartaphobia occurs within the context of enduring relationship while homophobia prevents relationship.  The difference here is the end goal: homophobia seeks to condemn, but hamartaphobia seeks to redeem. 

Galatians 6:2 tells us to “carry each other’s burdens,” and there may be no more concise definition of community in all of scripture.  I used to think the ideal faith community was a place where each person had fixed his/her baggage enough to be able to engage the other people selflessly and compassionately, but I’ve come to believe the ideal faith community is one in which each participant genuinely trusts and relies upon the others enough for them all to work on their baggage together.  The processes of confessing, forgiving, mentoring, discipling, encouraging, witnessing, rebuking, and loving each require more than one individual, and they’re all essential spiritual disciplines meant to form us into the kind of people we’re meant to be.  This means our journeys of recognizing and overcoming sin contribute to our relationships with one another and, ultimately, our ability to love.  Community is crucial for formation.

Hamartaphobia, then, opens doors for continued relationship.  When one believer confronts sin in the life of another believer, that conversation should only be the tip of an iceberg of faithfulness, trust, dependence, and support, with the understanding that the confront-er has every intention of listening to and journeying with the confront-ee.  Anyone who has been on the receiving end of one of these conversations (when handled correctly) knows it results in a wide variety of emotions—humility and some surprise, perhaps, but eventually gratitude and appreciation, since the confront-er’s willingness to speak boldly and plainly demonstrates love, respect, and concern.  The point of confrontation is to take on the other person’s burden.

Homophobia, on the other hand, is a means of closing down relationship.  It breeds self-righteousness by pointing out the perceived flaws of another; it enforces shame and guilt, which bear no resemblance to the kind of grief that leads to repentance; and it requires none of the Christian virtues of humility, patience, or kindness. Homophobia aims to cut off and to distance the other, emphasizing differences in order to divide rather than searching for similarities in order to connect.  It rarely leads the individual towards greater health and holiness (whatever form those may take), since it heaps on paralyzing pain.  Homophobia is punishment, not discipline.

Third, hamartaphobia is an outpouring of love while homophobia is an outburst of fear.  In my opinion, this is sharpest distinction between the two and the central crisis.  I’ve come to believe that all of our interactions with each other find their motivations either in love or fear, and I don’t see much overlap between the two.

When fear motivates my actions, I’m necessarily more concerned about myself than the other person.  I’m worried about how things will turn out for me, what other people will think of me, what this person’s actions say about who I am, whether or not the relationship is beneficial for me.  When love motivates my actions, though, I’m concerned for the other person: how to help her, how to protect her, how to support and empower her, how to redeem her crisis.  I don’t mind what the relationship is costing me because I’ve taken on her burdens through empathy and feel her pain as my own.  I have the right to say something because I have demonstrated love to her consistently.

If I intentionally withhold love from another person for any reason (as many people explicitly do, upon discovering the sexuality of a friend or family member), I flagrantly disobey Jesus’ command to love my neighbor, which he identifies as second only to the command to love God (Matthew 22:37-40).  Or, as one blogger so perfectly put it, “If you cannot love others, there is a problem between you and God, not them and God.”  Let’s make no mistake about it: When we’re talking about homophobia as I’ve defined it, we’re talking about sin.  We’re talking about sin that seems to be diametrically opposed to the ministry and teachings of Jesus, insofar as he advocated love and relationship.

Maybe I’m dreaming, but I look forward to the day when we all of us will be more (or at least as) concerned about homophobia—as far as it means the inability to love—than we are about homosexuality, when words like “faggot” will be more shocking and offensive to us than expressions of same-sex affection are.  To be sure, this is the case in many places.  But it many other settings, Christians seem to be trailing behind a culture that finds homophobia unacceptable.  In our efforts to attain holiness, we’ve often been guilty of diminishing certain individuals down to our stereotypes, fears, and expectations of them. 

Sound off in the comments: How else do you see a distinction between homophobia & hamartaphobia?  Is it possible to differentiate the two as I’ve done here, or is that just the unfortunate “Love the sinner, hate the sin” dichotomy that never seems to play out with regards to LGBT issues?